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While using JonSullivan.com, please refrain from operating power tools, underwater breathing devices, powered enema machines, or the "Thigh Master". Failure to comply with this rule may lead unscrupulous types to hack into your web cam and post incriminating pictures of you at "Am I Hot Or Not?"

Improper operation of JonSullivan.com can lead to insomnia, dropsy, toe loss, addiction to yogurt, very small fingernails, rapid eye movements, aversion to French cuisine, and spastic colon. Among other things. Don't make us list them all. You get the idea. Just be careful. It's not a toy. You could put an eye out for God's sake!!!

Notice: Most interesting, useful, or humorous content found here was stolen from other sources without asking, and no return linkage or credit will ever be given. Unless you are named "Arnold P. Fasnock", you may read only the "odd numbered words" (every other word beginning with the first) of the message above. If you have violated that, then you hereby owe the site owner $10 for each even numbered word you have read.

IMPORTANT: Comments found on this website are intended for the use of the individual(s) they are directed towards and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the creation of this website, although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. This message represents the official view of the voices in my head.

Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise. Sue Jon Sullivan? Never! What a silly idea. Jon Sullivan is a wonderful human being who would never harm or deceive anyone. Jon Sullivan is not like the others. He is your friend.

The comments & opinions expressed herein are NOT those of my employer, who, if he knew I was sending emails and surfing porno sites, would cut off my gonads and feed them to me for afternoon tea. Activities and vehicle modifications appearing or described in this website may be potentially dangerous. We do not endorse any such activity for others or recommend it to any particular person - we simply describe our experiences and opinions.

This website is not affiliated with any company, person, entity, organization, fictional character, or any other thing which could at any time be considered to have a legal definition or status, or might for some reason sue me. This website does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of myself, my company, my friends, or anything, or anyone. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Your mileage may vary. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only.

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